Tuesday before Whitsunday, 1198

Michi spent the evening under a spell of Gaspard's that made him invisible. While that was a great aid in the attack on the temple of Nemestrinus and the chambers beneath, which Gaspard reckons might have been an infernal regio, it left Michi concerned that his heroic actions went unobserved by his fellow covenfolk. To rectify this, he provides the following account of the action that evening. To ensure his contributions are fully credited, he begins by covering some of the events leading up to that dreadful night.

Gaspard has aall his baies an' frack in a twist cos o' some Quasitoril or somit is comin' ta ask about t' dragon what I sar aff in t' town, so oi tells him nat tay worry and set 'em straight about what 'appened. Now 'im and Madeline 'ave been tryin' ta read the books oi nicked for 'em, but ets in code or summit but oi tells 'em it aall looks loike sqiggles tay me and they will have tay do with out while oi show wolf boy the ropes af guardin' an' stuff.

So dis fella an lass turn up an' ask aall tha questions and oi tell 'em aall about tha wolf lady and tha dragon that oi drove off and tha creepy little naked fella that led us to the fairies, an' they seem preety pleased about all that.

So dere we were all a loungin' in the great hall when this back woods hick turns up lyin 'is arse orf about cultist in the woods havin' kidnapped his mate. So off we trot after the wotsits had argued, turn up in dis guys shed a couple o' days later, kit up and leave d'squire and totty behind we head off to where the cultin' is supposed to be taking place.

Gaspard works his jazzan'. Oi vanish, takin t' oppertunity if'n you know what oi mean.

So we heads in and make shart work of 'em wit tha help of an imaginary giant head, but when Gaspard (lad's got legs) catches and questions the victim it turns out that lyin chops who brought us in is in the cult. So we hightail it back to tha barn and the beggers havent just run off wit' th' totty.

So more hocus pocus and some slippers an' we're on the trail, heading off deeper into the woods in th' pourin' rain.

Madelin meenwhoile is draggin her big wet dress an' chatting about 'em being "romans" or some such but oi tole her they were kidnappers and the romans have been gone for years. She said "par-dong" and on we went.

So we follow th' dogs and the magics to this old place full a' pillars and behind it there's this cave, now still bein' all see t'rough oi sneak on in and have a bit of a look, an' dere's dese two fellas standin' behoind a palisade. So oi knocks 'em out with tha faader helpin while Madelin tries to talk to 'em. "Kidnappin' cultists, love," oisay. "No sense in talkin, lets get to th' hittin'." So behind em's a big pit and a bunch o' clothes, so oi'm tinkin', "Neked Celestene, won't that be nice!"

Then behoind it is this statue of some goat boy purple magic wand and hairy sack of magic an' all, an on this mural behind him theres some steps, so there is all sorts of faffin' around and eventually Gaspard gets this mural to turn into stairs wit magic or bowin or sometin' oi dun know.

So we head on down these steps and it starts gettin' well creepy, I kin tell you. I wusnet happy about going on down there, so aboot half way down the stairs something goes wrong wit de' spellin' makin' me see through and now no one can hear me oider. So right at the bottom there's these two arches; the left one (oi tink) is covered in all da preety people and down dere, there was this mirror which shows things like they really are. And the other arch this was covered in people getting tortured, only the others are all too busy chatting about rescuin' to notice, so oi gets em ta see by makin' em walk into me and on we go.

So there we were deep in the depths of the earth, bein very very quite, hunting cultists. And we finds em in this big round room with Celestens (dutifully neked) spread eagled on a big X, now Oi didn't think she was into dat sort o' ting but this culty fellow liked it so . . . and they had shaved off all of her hair and there was dancin and all sorts goin on.

"Gaspard," whispers brother Cornelious, "What have you got that can kill the entire room?" "Michi?" answers Gaspard and we set upon 'em.

So tha black priest isn't too pleased about an invisible pikey killin all his boys and he starts cuttin on Celesten and tryin to drop this big bowl of hair and blood and stuff into the big burnin pit in the middle of th' room. So we kill im and his mates and he calls in all sorts of demon chums and we kill them as well but he still drops his bowl in the fire. Now oi'm gettin a bit worried about this but then Madelin needs me ta pretend to be an angel to help question the remanin' cultist who were weein' der pants der so dey were.

Den in the fire pit dis big fallic lookin mess o' shadows and tentacles starts eatin' the questionees and callin all th' wierd lookin' bugs into the room to be eatin us, and we set about it and Gaspard does some of his jazzin' on it, now tings aren't lookin' too good at dis point and Gaspard is orf it so I shouts for the fadder to run and oi leg it—oi don't remember the magic as gone wrong and 'e can't hear me till oi catch up to dress boy and were off on our toes.

Oi ope is God bless' i'm an' aall dat cos the good brother held back that ting whoile we legged it and once we got topside we messed that mural right up so it couldn't get out and den robbed all them cultists clothes along with thier cash, of which they had a pile o' silver in a box, and hightailed it back to the covenant.

Michi fails to mention that Celestine was brought out of the temple alive, though quite traumatized.

End of Chapter Two